It’s not that I’m exactly having a crisis. It’s that I keep thinking about it. Living. How I’ll die in the coming days or quite late in life. I keep looking at the people around me. I see my grandmother frightened at the loss of her memory. I see my dad worried that he’ll lose his job. I see my mom stress over a new school year. I witness my cousin as he struggles to breathe. I listen to my friend as he talks about struggling to live within society’s restraints. I see two of my friends struggle with the reality that they must endure a relationship while being 1,000 miles apart.
Then there’s me. I struggle here and there. It’s always the same set problems. Relationships. Friendships. Financial. Family. Physical. Mental. Spiritual. Not enough time. Too much time. Days are filled with struggle and seeing others’ struggle. I can’t help but sit back and wonder–is it worth it? Is it worth it to sit back and struggle when the final road we all take is death? Why struggle endlessly if the end is meaningless?
And I always come to the same conclusion. Love. This makes things difficult. For me, it’s been years since a girl has allowed me to love her. But I do have good replacements–for now–from my family and friends. The love of those around me fill the holes between our struggles with happiness and laughter. Love makes the struggles bearable… sometimes even enjoyable. Romantic Love puts you on a new plane entirely.
I just finished watching the movie, “Chronicle.” I’ve seen it many times, but this time I understood the plight of the protagonist on a whole new level. He was held together by the one person he loved—his mother. The movie sees our protagonist shift from the enjoyable geek to a monster when he loses his mother. When I first saw this movie, I thought it was a reaction to losing his mother. But the truth is much deeper.
When you are not loved and cannot find love within yourself, you will deteriorate. Love is our filler and our barrier from the barren wasteland of struggle. Without it, your soul will receive a direct hit when it comes up against any struggle. It would be like living on Earth without the atmosphere and getting hit my UV rays all the time. You would have no way of surviving. This is why people who live alone in the wilderness act more like animals then men. This is why those who go without human interaction tumble into the darkness.
This is why we must let each other know that we love one another. This is why when someone talks about killing themselves on Tumblr, thousands respond telling them they they are loved. This is why you should always strike up a conversation with someone and let them know you enjoy talking with them. This is why the “Free Hugs” campaign literally saves lives. This is also why my favorite movie quote comes from “V for Vendetta.”
“What I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that though I do not know you and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you.”
Do not lose hope.
I love you.