Halfway through Peace Corps Training

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I know I’ve been uploading mainly pictures.  So here’s a real writing update.  Today marks five weeks in Morocco.  Only 109 weeks to go =).  It’s strange thinking that this much time has already passed.  Like the rest of humanity, I’ve been fascinated by the passage of time since I was a teenager.  But this is the first period since high school that time has felt extremely fluid.  Like high school, each day is jam-packed with class, social interaction, frustrations, and excitement.  Unlike high school, each day is a massive cultural experience.  That’s not even mentioning the speech barrier.

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Despite these busy days, these five weeks have passed by in a snap.  At times I can’t believe that I’ve been in Africa for five weeks.  Other times, it feels like I’ve been here a year.  That’s why I’ve always been so fascinated with time.  It is going by so quickly and so slowly at the same time.  I’m quickly realizing what is difficult to be away from and what is easy to be away from.  Being away from my girl makes it feel like years have passed.  Being away from the entertainment world of America makes it feel like no time has passed at all.

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I was certain I was going to Early Terminate in the first two weeks of training.  It was a strange mixture of circumstances that brought me to that conclusion.  I even told my father I might be able to watch some Broncos games with him next season.  Then we started taking a little time out of our language lessons to start teaching English to the children in our community.  That changed a lot for me.  Being able to genuinely help students was exactly what I needed.  Then, during a free weekend, I had a long conversation with a close Peace Corps friend.  Now I have a hard time seeing what would make me go home.

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It doesn’t feel like an emotional roller coaster…but that is because the days stretch on for vast amounts of time.  The truth is I experience multiple ups and downs in a day.  I have overall amazing days and overall sucky days.  In the end, in the past two weeks, little has brought me down for a long period of time.  Once I got settled into the idea of spending two years here, I started making plans.  I know what my plans are for my Peace Corps service—but there are going to be long periods where I need to just fill time (like during the summer when it’s 120+ degrees outside).  For that, I made a list of personal goals.  This includes many writing goals—including finishing a film script I started working on last week.  Having a set of personal goals was exactly what I needed.

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We’ve talked to a lot of current volunteers.  All of them have advice.  All of their advice is simple.  But there’s this strange feeling when I am around them.  It’s like walking into a movie at the theater and seeing other people walking out.  You know that they just experienced what you are about to experience.  You want to know, but you don’t.  I have this strange sensation that I have important questions to ask the current volunteers….but I can never figure out what to ask.  It’s rather amusing.

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I am continuously reminded of something I wrote while in Tacoma with my girl.  It was about home.  It was then that I realize I did not have a home.  It isn’t with my parents.  It isn’t Tacoma.  It isn’t my grandmother’s old condo.  It isn’t my host family.  It won’t be my final site.  What I realize back then is that home isn’t a place—it’s people.  No matter how I look at it, I feel the tether to those I love.  I know where my home is.  Although I love this country and I’m dedicated to spending two years here, I know my home is safe in Tacoma.

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Day Four

Casablanca from the airI just practiced my Arabic for a good hour or two.  I can now count from one to ten, introduce myself, go through the basic greeting and say goodbye in the dialect of Arabic that works in Northwest Africa.  I feel like I need to as much or more language practice compared to the other people here.  I have always had a difficult time learning languages.  I just don’t enjoy memorizing.  But I am—slowly—getting it down.  I am going to have to do this every day to keep up with the lesson.  If all goes well, I won’t be kicked out when training ends because I just can’t get by with the language.

I have continued journaling on a daily basis.  This will be my main form of writing while I am here.  During my training, I doubt I will get by fiction writing done.  Once I get into my two year service that may change.  That isn’t until late March.  I still need to master the language to the best of my ability.

Today is my girl’s 21st birthday.  It has been especially hard today being away from here.  Part of me wants to be where she is.  Part of me wants her to be here.  In the end, it honestly does not matter where we are.  I just want to be with her and celebrate with her.  As I complete my fourth day of 800, I can’t help but imagine what the next 796 days will be like without her.

This is going to be hard.  But amazing.

 

30 Days Out

With 30 days until I leave for Morocco, two things are on my mind.  First and foremost is the girl I am set to leave behind.  I know I’m going to leave my family and friends behind…but I don’t entirely regard that a bad thing.  Although I will miss my friends and family, I know they will be here for me when I get back.  When it comes to romance, life works a little differently.  We know full well that we can’t ask each other to wait.  It really isn’t sane to expect a 27 month long-distance relationship to last off of a one-month romance.  A part of me desperately doesn’t want to risk losing her.  That part want to stay behind.  The other part of me reminds me that everything I’ve ever wanted (except romance and a family) is offered by the Peace Corps.  Ambitious friend.  Helping people.  Travel.  Help towards a great job.  I can not expect either of us to wait…but I can hope.  Still, I cannot help but imagine my life if I decide not to leave her.

One other thing is on my mind.  Arabic.  I am not great at languages.  In 30 days, I will be thrown into an intensive 8-week course where Arabic and the culture of Morocco will be taught.  I need to get a good head start.  In order to get going, I am going to force myself to work on it every day until I leave.  Today is focused on skowering the internet for ideas on how to start learning the language.  Tomorrow will focus on buying a couple language books (and a tourist book of Morocco) so that I can get a real start on my studies.  I will let you know how it goes.  I may even try to write some Arabic poems or Haikus.

Here is today’s update from my teenage past.  Some of these poems are a bit embarrassing (this one included).  It almost looks like I wanted it to be a song rather than a set poem.  It sounds like a crappy pop song.

True Love

Morocco on the Radar

It’s been a good day off.  I cleaned my condo, saw Wreck-It-Ralph, wrote some Haikus, and generally relaxed.  I finally broke out my Peace Corps packet it today and started getting a better feel for what the next 27 months are going to look like.  I even met someone who vacationed in Morocco (he made me much more excited about going). I wish the day would just come.

I think I am going to take a break from what I have been trying to write.  It just isn’t working.  I’d rather spend these 39 days free writing anyway.  I also need to read a lot more than I have in the past week.  That means I will have more to upload in the week to come.  Until then, here is another poem from my freshmen year of high school:

Look at Me

50 Days Out

I got back from Washington about 14 hours before Thanksgiving Dinner.  Now, as the Holiday Weekend comes to a close, I find myself with a score of decisions and realizations.  With 50 days left before I am scheduled to leave for Morocco with the Peace Corps, there is plenty to figure out in a short amount of time.  For the first time in my life, I am coming to a crossroads where straight is no longer an option.  I must make a hard decision.

Although I do have more pressing matters to think and write about, the one I spent today on seemed appropriate.  I have been mulling over the idea of home for more than a month now.  I finally found the words to articulate the feeling that has been grown inside of me.  I hope you enjoy it.

on Home

 

A Month in Tacoma

As of right now, I am 55 days out from my 27 month Peace Corps commitment in Morocco.  All that is on my mind, however, is how I just spent the last 30 days…With 55 days left to my own devices, I can think of no better way of using my time than writing.  These final two months will be spent with friends and movies, yes.

But, in the end, these 55 days will be used to write about the last 30 days…