Three in the morning
All my thoughts turn to you
Hoping that you dream
Tag Archives: personal
Pre Peace Corps Everyday Project
I started my Everyday Project shortly after seeing Noah Kalina’s six-year project–which exploded onto the scene in 2007. My video is now the approximate length of Noah’s original video (he has recently uploaded a 12.5 year project).
As any Everydayer would tell you, the projects means more and more with each passing year. Now, at six year, I can see myself through the end of high school, through all of college, and as I prepare to leave for the Peace Corps. I’ve gained weight. Lost it. Plenty of sunburns. Shaved my head. Moved. This project captures the intense speed of the world around you while simultaneously showing the slow aging process of humans.
Thank you to all of my readersand subscribers. If you are not already subscribed, make sure to. I get back from the Peace Corps in 27 months–which means the next Everyday Movie will be quite different. In the meantime, check out this Youtube site that organizes all the Everyday projects on Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLABDA97DDEE8BFAAD&feature=mh_lolz
Haiku #8
I miss you too, dear
Every emotional ounce
Wells up when you speak
8 Days Out
The list of things to do until I leave for 27 months of Peace Corps duty is dwindling. I already accomplished four things this morning. This afternoon is full of shopping to finish off my packing list. I’m getting so close to being fully ready to leave for Morocco. Wish me luck. It still feels like I have so much more to do. At least that is helping me not focus on the stress of leaving so many people behind.
Today comes the final batch of poems from 2004. These are some of the best poems I wrote during my teenage years. I hope you enjoy. Make sure to read Darkened Eyes. My poetry finally stopped being sappy and became angry. It’s worth it.
Haiku #7
In Paris with you
Revolution or Modern
Exploring with you
Haiku #4
The countdown begins
Slowly saying my goodbyes
I’ll miss you the most
Haiku #3
The snow is falling
On virgin snow, I leave mine
Waiting for the crunch
Haiku #2
Alone in the cold
Imagining you are here
Such a painful bliss
A Month Without Her
I spent a month (Oct. 20 through Nov. 20) falling in love with a girl who lived 1,300 miles away from me. It was easily the best month of my life thus far. Now it’s been a month without her. It’s been strange. It not like I think about her everyday. No. That would be easy. I find myself thinking she would make each destination in my daily life so much better–so much fuller. Some days are easier than other–but some days are downright lonely without her.
I’m moving forward in going to the Peace Corps. Which means another 800 days without her. The idea frightens me. I know I asked for this by letting myself fall in love with her so soon before leaving the country. The thing is, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Period. The time apart will be impossible. It’ll teach us much about ourselves and each other. It may rip us apart. But it may make us stronger. I do not know the future. All I know is that, right now, I see no other option. The Peace Corps is where my life has been pointed for years. With it finally on my doorstep, how do I walk away? What kind of life will be waiting for me if I do?
The internal conflict burns inside of me as–each day–I read over more forms and learn Arabic. It’s like I’m living two lives at this point. At some point, one of those lives will have to fall into a hibernation–hoping to be reawoken in the near-future. At this point, I expect that to be the life with her. I do not like that. I hate that that is going to be my decision. I try every day to re-imagine what life would be like if I stayed in the states….but it’s getting harder and harder to see it.
This blog is going to transform in the days, weeks, and months ahead. As I make the transition to living overseas, it will remain my writing blog. But it will also take on the aspects of a Peace Corps Journal. Although I am not legally allowed to share my specific whereabouts or doings, I will be able to share my personal thoughts and writings. That will not change.
I have much from my teenager years that I still want to upload before I leave. I think I need to up it to three per update. Here’s today’s batch of poems from nine years ago:
30 Days Out
With 30 days until I leave for Morocco, two things are on my mind. First and foremost is the girl I am set to leave behind. I know I’m going to leave my family and friends behind…but I don’t entirely regard that a bad thing. Although I will miss my friends and family, I know they will be here for me when I get back. When it comes to romance, life works a little differently. We know full well that we can’t ask each other to wait. It really isn’t sane to expect a 27 month long-distance relationship to last off of a one-month romance. A part of me desperately doesn’t want to risk losing her. That part want to stay behind. The other part of me reminds me that everything I’ve ever wanted (except romance and a family) is offered by the Peace Corps. Ambitious friend. Helping people. Travel. Help towards a great job. I can not expect either of us to wait…but I can hope. Still, I cannot help but imagine my life if I decide not to leave her.
One other thing is on my mind. Arabic. I am not great at languages. In 30 days, I will be thrown into an intensive 8-week course where Arabic and the culture of Morocco will be taught. I need to get a good head start. In order to get going, I am going to force myself to work on it every day until I leave. Today is focused on skowering the internet for ideas on how to start learning the language. Tomorrow will focus on buying a couple language books (and a tourist book of Morocco) so that I can get a real start on my studies. I will let you know how it goes. I may even try to write some Arabic poems or Haikus.
Here is today’s update from my teenage past. Some of these poems are a bit embarrassing (this one included). It almost looks like I wanted it to be a song rather than a set poem. It sounds like a crappy pop song.
Richard T. Reilly 